I Never Told You (America x Reader)

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

READER

I opened my eyes and stared at the empty sheets beside me. My eyes immediately formed tears as I remembered that Alfred had broken up with me. I was so used to waking up and finding his blue eyes staring into my (e/c) ones after a night of almost endless sleep that I got scared to think that he would never smile lovingly at me again. The room felt empty when I was alone in it, unlike the nights and the mornings when I could hear both of us breathe.

            I buried my face into my pillow and let the tears fall.

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now, 
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

ALFRED

Why didn’t I say anything? Why did I break up with her instead of just telling her that I was moving? Was I that much of a coward? Was I so scared of her being with another man while I was away that I just went and broke up with her?

            God, what have I done? I’ve gone and destroyed the perfect relationship I had with my girlfriend, all because I was such a coward to tell her the truth.

            And look at what it did to me; I was a broken mess. My room was stuffed with boxes, either filled with clothes or not. I hadn't changed my clothes in a few days. My usually messy hair was even messier. I stopped eating. I stopped talking to my family. All I could think of was ____ and how much she must’ve hated me right now.

            I sighed and looked up to the ceiling from where I laid on the bed. It was a bit strange for me to sleep in my own room now since I slept most nights in ____’s house. And now I was never going to lay down beside her again. Thank you very much, Alfred, you’re destroying yourself.

            I turned to my side. Man, I could feel the tears fall and tried to stop them from trailing down my cheeks. I just missed her so much that I couldn't hold back the sadness anymore. My mind replayed every moment we spent together and it made me cry harder.  

            What was I going to do without her?

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now, 
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

READER

I imagined Alfred beside me, seeing his blue eyes behind his glasses as he held me close and kept me warm. He always had the power to make me forget where I am whenever I look into his eyes or just remember them. I forget everything around me when I see those eyes.

            And now I was missing them, so, so much. And why? Because I never said the two simple words I had wanted to say when he broke up with me: Don’t go. I didn’t want to seem needy, so I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want to control his freedom. I didn’t want him to be mad at me for being too controlling. And I paid for it.

            And after all that, I still wanted to see him, still wanted to hold him close to me and breathe in his scent. I still loved him and nothing could change that, even if he didn’t love me in return anymore. I just missed him so much that just thinking about him brought tears to my eyes.

            I covered my eyes with my arm as the tears fell once again.

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now, 
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

ALFRED

I ran to ____’s house as fast as I could. I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to tell her I loved her still and that I didn’t mean to break up with her. I wanted to hear her say that she loved me. I wanted her to forgive me and take me back.

            As I approached her house, I steeled myself for the confrontation of a lifetime. ____ lives alone so I didn’t have to worry about her parents or anything like that. But I was still worried that she wouldn’t forgive me. I mean, what if she decided that she hated me? It would break me to pieces if that were to happen.

            I stopped at her front door and knocked on it a couple of times. I still knew where the spare key was, but I didn’t want to seem rude when I wanted her to forgive me. After a couple of minutes shuffling my feet around, I heard the door unlock and ____ appeared, dresses in pajama pants and a loose gray t-shirt. God, the sight almost made me cry—I missed seeing her like this in the mornings and I was more determined to say I was sorry.

            But before I could make a move, she tackled me in a bone-crushing hug, making me fall onto the ground. Her hold was so tight that I almost couldn’t breathe. I could feel her shaking and my sweatshirt getting wet.

            “Don’t go, Alfie. Please don’t go,” she sobbed into my chest. ____ looked up at me, (e/c) eyes pleading with me to take her back. “I love you. Please don’t leave me.”

            The way she said those words brought me to the edge of my emotions and unshed tears started falling down my cheeks. I hugged her, holding her close to me. “I love you, ____. I’m sorry that I broke up with you. I never should’ve done that and I regretted it so much when I couldn’t see you. I was a mess and I felt like a madman locked in a padded room whenever I remembered our moments together. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to forget me when I move.”

            “You’re moving?” she asked. I could see fresh tears fill her eyes, but I wiped them away before they could fall. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve lived with a long-distance relationship.”

            “Yeah, I figured, but I don’t think we need that anymore.” I grinned a little.

            Her brows furrowed. “Why?”

            I leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, “’Cause I’m not moving.”

            And just like that, he wrapped me in another bone-crushing hug and I embraced her tenderly. Soon enough, she pulled away and looked into my eyes. We both knew what we wanted—what we needed then. I cupped her face with one hand while the other stayed in place on her back. ____ tilted her head and our lips met gently.

            It was our best kiss by far.

THE END